I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about friends – making them, keeping them, actively pursuing them. How do you know if someone’s a good friend? Or if you’re even a good friend? How do you maintain the relationships with the friends you do have beyond a text every now and then because you’re states and states and states away? Or what about feeling a little lonely (even if you’re not alone) because you’re not enough of an extrovert to actually feel uncomfortable with the fact that you don’t have an Ohio best friend yet? And you recognize that you don’t actually care enough to do anything about it right now. Maybe because you’re fine being alone? Is that called being comfortable in who you are, or being too comfortable to stretch and fix it? Unclear. Lots of questions with lots of unclear answers.
Admittedly, I’m probably too comfortable. Right now I’m sitting on my couch writing with Million Dollar Listing on super low volume in the background. All of the friends I’ve made are out of town so I’m alone this weekend. To admit something again, I’m loving it. I’ve done my friend making penance (already a drinks date and a dinner date this week) and I’m reveling in the solitude. I could stay like this for an unreasonably long time, but that’s when Lonely comes knocking and the questions start swirling.
At the beginning of last week a friend I have made, and kept, and I think actively pursued, sent me a super timely podcast touching on the questions I just spat out.
NOTE the mark of a good friend: she sends you unsolicited podcasts on the topics that confuse you, even without you sending out a PSA that you’re confused. It’s almost like there’re some telepathic signals (maybe some unnaturally strong pheromones) being transmitted across the states and states and states between the two of you.
The podcast was great. I learned a lot, felt a lot. But it was better to have even received it in the first place. To be reminded that there was a friend states and states and states away who loves me enough to think about me and share some much-needed consideration. I know that’s simple, but simple reminders are perfect for coming along side you and tucking neatly within the happenings of your day to day. This one made me pause and reconsider: I guess I’m doing alright. Enjoy Million Dollar Listing. Take the pressure off. Sometimes lonely, but clearly never alone.
I haven’t totally fleshed out my thoughts on all of this yet, but it seemed worthwhile to start putting virtual pen to virtual paper so I could calm all the noise. Dedicating this one to giving the friendships I have the credit they’re due, and also giving myself the permission to do this post-college friend thing right, in my own time and way. It’s been weird, but I think that might just be normal.