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Hi, my name is Nadia.

Welcome to my space. Here I'm allowing myself to whisper and ramble and scream out loud. If you're here to listen, welcome.

"I have to make the most of those awake-and-not-at-work moments...so that all of my moments, even the 8 am meeting moments, feel a little fuller."

Habits. Let’s build some.

I’ve never had so little time to myself and at the same time so great a need to make the most of each moment. As soon as I get home from work the bedtime countdown begins, though. Immediately. Life right now is punctuated by sleep and sleep alone. But what about all those adult activities like working out, meal-prepping lunches, cooking dinner, cleaning up after dinner, reading, writing, and calling your mom you may ask? I already told you, the bedtime clock started. I’m probably already under the covers.

So, I made a list of habits and I’m prioritizing one at a time, adding little bit by little bit. This week’s habit is simple: just finish all of the water I bring with me to work. One 32 oz Hydro Flask’s worth. The babiest of baby steps.

Habit #2, which I was also supposed to start this week, was to at least try working out every day. Yesterday was supposed to be the first day, but I made spaghetti with Rao’s Arrabbiata sauce for dinner and ate way too much (like had a third portion as my “90 Day Fiancé” marathon slowly dulled my brain - there was nothing good about this). When I stood up, I literally felt the full weight of the food I’d eaten. All I could manage to do was shuffle to my bed at the ripe hour of 7 pm. Not quite a treadmill run.

With that I also broke Habit #3, to eat intuitively - meaning strip away all of the food rules (intermittent fasting, salad overloads, food guilt when you’re craving a burger) and just eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full. Again, it’s simple. We’re starting small, but clearly not small enough because when it comes to Rao’s I eat un-intuitively. Irrationally even.

Sometimes post-grad just feels like a moment in time, like I’ve been dropped off at summer camp and my mom will be back in a few weeks to pick me up and take me home. No need to put down roots and invest your time in life-sustaining activities other than work and sleep, Nadia, you’re going home soon! But, this is home and apparently this is life. So, in that, I have to make the most of those awake-and-not-at-work moments and pit them against my habit list so that all of my moments, even the 8 am meeting moments, feel a little fuller.

Thankfully, amazingly, today was a new day. I finished my water and so far, I’ve only eaten when I’m actually hungry, but *said in a hushed tone* I still haven’t worked out. Progress, progress, hopefully, inevitable progress.

So, here’s to finding fulfillment in “adult” habits at the bottom of your HydroFlask or in the self-control of only one portion of spaghetti with Rao’s. Life’s hard and making home and habits are harder, but I think we’re doing our best over here.

"But I think we’re slowly winning big over the months and years, and winning small every single day. And that's damn fantastic."

"Dedicating this one to giving the friendships I have the credit they’re due, and also giving myself the permission to do this post-college friend thing right..."